Break Free
Monday, February 29, 2016
Finding Peace One Day At a Time
Hi, my name is Christopher and I am an Alcoholic. For years I drank to solve every problem; my marriage problems; my financial problems; my employment problems...EVERY problem. Alcohol seemed to be the magic potion that could turn me into the great man that I truly wanted to be. But then, cunningly, it became my master. It became what I call, "the great LOAN SHARK." What I mean is, it would give me what I wanted (a sense of ease, comfort, belonging, and especially confidence), but then it always TOOK from me in INTEREST. It took my home, my career, my money, material possessions, and most of all...my serenity. And one day I woke up and realized that I simply could NOT stop drinking. It had me. I was alcohol's prisoner.
So after years of trying everything I could to stop, I finally had to admit that I was licked, and that I just couldn't quit on my own, and by my own means. And so I entered a sober-living community that seemed to have the solution I was looking for. They took me in, dusted me off, loved me unconditionally, and showed me a program of recovery that would finally allow me to be free; through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Today, I have a wonderful sponsor, I am taking the 12 Steps of AA to the best of my ability, I am around a loving community of people who care about me, and I am able to finally, FINALLY, put my recovery FIRST! I can't say that everything in my life is exactly how I want it to be. However, I CAN say that it is exactly how GOD wants it to be. And I'm learning that THAT is what is most important! Today I'm learning to live one day at a time; and for the first time I'm learning to accept people, places, and situations exactly the way they are. And for an alcoholic like myself, that is a HUGE change. Thank you God for Alcoholics Anonymous and for this wonderful fellowship.
Christopher e. Grateful Alcooholic
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Spirituality in Addiction Recovery: How Can it Help?
How can spirituality help you in addiction recovery?
Hmmm...Let me count the ways. It can help you:
1. Focus on personal goals. Cultivating your spirituality may help uncover what's most meaningful in your life. By clarifying what's important to you, you can eliminate stress by focusing less on the unimportant things that can sometimes seem to consume you.
2. Connect to the world. The more you feel you have a purpose in the world, the less solitary you feel even when you're alone. This can lead to an inner peace during difficult times.
3. Release control. When you feel part of a greater whole, you realize that you aren't responsible for everything that happens in life. You can share the burden of tough times as well as the joys of life's blessings with those around you.
4. Expand your support network. Whether you find spirituality in a church, mosque or synagogue, in your family, or in walks with a friend through nature, this sharing of spiritual expression can help build relationships.
5. Lead a healthier life. Some research seems to indicate that people who consider themselves spiritual are often better able to cope with stress and heal from illness or addiction.
Cultivating your spirituality
Spirituality begins with your relationship with yourself, is nurtured by your relationships with others and culminates in a sense of purpose in life. Realizing this, two of the best ways to cultivate your spirituality are to improve your self-esteem and to foster relationships with those who are important to you. This can lead to a deepened sense of your place in life and in the greater good.
Bill Urell
Bio
Hmmm...Let me count the ways. It can help you:
1. Focus on personal goals. Cultivating your spirituality may help uncover what's most meaningful in your life. By clarifying what's important to you, you can eliminate stress by focusing less on the unimportant things that can sometimes seem to consume you.
2. Connect to the world. The more you feel you have a purpose in the world, the less solitary you feel even when you're alone. This can lead to an inner peace during difficult times.
3. Release control. When you feel part of a greater whole, you realize that you aren't responsible for everything that happens in life. You can share the burden of tough times as well as the joys of life's blessings with those around you.
4. Expand your support network. Whether you find spirituality in a church, mosque or synagogue, in your family, or in walks with a friend through nature, this sharing of spiritual expression can help build relationships.
5. Lead a healthier life. Some research seems to indicate that people who consider themselves spiritual are often better able to cope with stress and heal from illness or addiction.
Cultivating your spirituality
Spirituality begins with your relationship with yourself, is nurtured by your relationships with others and culminates in a sense of purpose in life. Realizing this, two of the best ways to cultivate your spirituality are to improve your self-esteem and to foster relationships with those who are important to you. This can lead to a deepened sense of your place in life and in the greater good.
Bill Urell
Bio
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Spiritual Principles To Recovery
The spiritual principles behind the 12 steps in recovery are designed to give people a foundation for healing and sustained growth in their spiritual journey. These principles are:
Honesty
Hope
Faith
Courage
Integrity
Willingness
Humility
Justice
Discipline
Perseverance
Awareness
Love and Service
As a recovering alcoholic and a drug counselor, I have seen many alcoholics and addicts attempt recovery. Many of the people I work with do not allow these spiritual principles to work in their life. Including some of those who have gone through the 12 steps. I tell my groups that even if they have done the 12 steps - partially or fully, you must incorporate them into your daily life and pray on them. Living the spiritual principles will create the change you want and need for the rest of your life.
These are not only principles of a "step program". They are principles to live a fulfilling life, the way God intended us to be. I have found beyond doubt that these spiritual words behind your actions will also make you happier than you ever dreamed. Happiness does not coexist with Anger, Resentment, Envy and other defects of character. Those are heavy weights on your daily life and you soul. I don't need to be a recovering alcoholic to know that I am happier when I use these spiritual principles in my life. I'm not perfect and I fail in some of these all the time. But through prayer and inventory, I find I can get back on the right path.
Those working a step program should incorporate all of these principles in all of their affairs for true spiritual recovery to take place. They are words to pray on and live by.
Richard Olsen
Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC)
St. Charles Hospital
Port Jefferson, NY
stcharleshospital.chsli.org
Honesty
Hope
Faith
Courage
Integrity
Willingness
Humility
Justice
Discipline
Perseverance
Awareness
Love and Service
As a recovering alcoholic and a drug counselor, I have seen many alcoholics and addicts attempt recovery. Many of the people I work with do not allow these spiritual principles to work in their life. Including some of those who have gone through the 12 steps. I tell my groups that even if they have done the 12 steps - partially or fully, you must incorporate them into your daily life and pray on them. Living the spiritual principles will create the change you want and need for the rest of your life.
These are not only principles of a "step program". They are principles to live a fulfilling life, the way God intended us to be. I have found beyond doubt that these spiritual words behind your actions will also make you happier than you ever dreamed. Happiness does not coexist with Anger, Resentment, Envy and other defects of character. Those are heavy weights on your daily life and you soul. I don't need to be a recovering alcoholic to know that I am happier when I use these spiritual principles in my life. I'm not perfect and I fail in some of these all the time. But through prayer and inventory, I find I can get back on the right path.
Those working a step program should incorporate all of these principles in all of their affairs for true spiritual recovery to take place. They are words to pray on and live by.
Richard Olsen
Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC)
St. Charles Hospital
Port Jefferson, NY
stcharleshospital.chsli.org
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Addiction Recovery Worksheet For Identifying Healthy Replacements for the Alcohol and Drugs
One of the most important tasks of early recovery from alcohol and other drug addiction is learning to replace the chemical with health living skills. When you have taken the chemical out of your life, it leaves a big gaping hole, where something of substance was. Alcohol or other drugs have served many purposes over the course of addiction. They have played many roles. They had meaningful functions in your life. When the chemical is removed from your behavioral repertoire, how will you deal with stress, an annoying coworker, insomnia, and task overload? In addiction, the chemical has been used as a substitute for living skills. Early recovery is a time of learning new living skills--partly so that you will not feel compelled to return to the chemical when you feel overwhelmed by the demands of day to day living. To prevent relapse in recovery, you must find healthy alternatives for the chemical.
Most people do not start drinking or using other mood altering drugs to numb emotional or psychological pain. They started drinking or using to have fun, enhance a good time, be a part of a social group or gathering. Once you have consumed the chemical you learn quickly that mood/mind altering drugs do exactly that. You learn that these chemicals work to relax you, give you courage, help you concentrate or focus. They make you more articulate, a better dancer, a good conversationalist, more outgoing, or a better lover-or at least you think the chemicals do that. And they do work for the purposes that you are applying them, at least temporarily.
Eventually, when you become dependent on the chemical to deal with life, with its challenges and ups and downs, the drugs (including alcohol) seem to have a mind of their own. Use takes on a momentum of its own, and eventually it's the drugs controlling you, rather than you controlling how, when, where, how much, and the outcomes.
It is inaccurate and ineffective to believe that if you can find out "why" you used in the first place and continued to use despite negative consequences, that you will be cured, fixed, or struck sober. However, once you are abstinent from the chemical, in order to stay sober, you must identify the roles that the chemicals have played in your life. It is too simplistic to say that these roles are "why" you drank/used. It is more complicated than that. However, to prevent relapse, you must find new things to do with your stress, anxiety, feelings, etc. than drink or use drugs.
Alcoholics/addicts use the chemical for numbing feelings, relaxing, giving them more self-confidence, to reduce inhibitions, to escape from problems temporarily, to not think about nagging thoughts, to reduce anxiety, and to feel a part of a group. There are many other roles or functions of the chemical.
Recovering people must identify for themselves the roles that the chemical played in their lives. Then identify the possible healthy replacements for those roles. To assist you in this process, use the following worksheet format:
Worksheet For Identifying Healthy Replacements for Alcohol/Drugs
By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.
Use separate paper and the following format to assist you in identifying the roles that the chemicals have played in your life and possible healthy alternatives to those chemicals. You may also use a Two Column Format, where the first column is entitled "Roles" and the second column is entitled "Healthy Alternatives". First identify a reason that you drank/used, or a role or function that the chemical played; then identify some things that you can do instead of drinking/using when the need for that role/purpose/function returns. An example of drinking for stress reduction being replaced by exercise, AA meetings, relaxation skills, etc. "stress"
Examples:
Role - Reduce Stress
Replacements - Physical Exercise, self-hypnosis, guided imagery, learning new problem solving skills, eliminating procrastination, practice better organization, practicing cognitive therapy
Role - Having fun/entertainment
Replacements - Develop social support system and friendship network of people who do not drink/use, develop hobbies, take salsa dance lessons, learn to play tennis, watch movies with friends,
Role - Deal with feelings
Replacements - Learn to identify, own, and express feelings appropriately, learn and practice assertiveness skills, write letters to people that you have feelings about (but don't mail them), use prayer, look for the part that you play in the resentment or the conflict, talk to sponsor or friend, remind yourself that feelings are normal, that everyone has them, and that you have a choice and a responsibility about what to do with them.
Role - Relax and go to sleep
Replacements - Use good sleep hygiene, get exercise earlier in the day, read Big Book in bed, use thought stopping techniques to cut out mind-racing, ruminating, or worry, make an ongoing gratitude list and rehearse it in your mind as you lie in bed, take warm bath/shower, listen to relaxation tapes.
The above are only a few examples of the roles that the chemicals may have played in your life. The examples of replacements are also just a sample. You might have the same replacements used for different role categories. For example, you might use exercise to deal with anxiety, stress, anger, boredom, fun, and sleep (among others). The point is to identify what you used the chemical for and to identify replacements that you will actually try and use. Make a list. Add to it as you think of new role categories and replacement options. Make sure that your replacement lists include social activities that bring you into frequent contact with other sober people. Post it by your door, in your vehicle, at your job-wherever you can see it when you most need to be reminded that there are alternatives in your life to the chemical.
The more techniques that you try, the more you use and practice them, the more likely you are to choose alternatives than the chemical, when you would have normally used the chemical in the past.
========================================================================
Author's Bio:
People trying to find their way into recovery need all the help they can get. The numerous articles on my website that are available to you, cover Individual and Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery, Marriage, Sexual Addiction, Mental Health, Couple Communication, and Skill Development, along with other informational resources such as a Recommended Readings page, a Links page, an Ask Peggy column, Surveys, and e-books. To check out my website, go to http://www.peggyferguson.com To purchase and download my ebooks on addiction and recovery, go to http://www.peggyferguson.com/ServicesProvided.en.html Ebooks include "Understanding Cross Addiction to Prevent Relapse", "The Recovering Person's Guide to Surviving and Thriving Through The Holidays Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Sobriety", and "Protecting Your Recovery in Post Surgery Pain Days."
The information in this article (and on my website) is for educational/information purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis or treatment.
Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, Marriage/Family Therapist, Alcohol/Drug Counselor, Writer, Trainer, Consultant, provides professional counseling services in and around Stillwater, Oklahoma.
Most people do not start drinking or using other mood altering drugs to numb emotional or psychological pain. They started drinking or using to have fun, enhance a good time, be a part of a social group or gathering. Once you have consumed the chemical you learn quickly that mood/mind altering drugs do exactly that. You learn that these chemicals work to relax you, give you courage, help you concentrate or focus. They make you more articulate, a better dancer, a good conversationalist, more outgoing, or a better lover-or at least you think the chemicals do that. And they do work for the purposes that you are applying them, at least temporarily.
Eventually, when you become dependent on the chemical to deal with life, with its challenges and ups and downs, the drugs (including alcohol) seem to have a mind of their own. Use takes on a momentum of its own, and eventually it's the drugs controlling you, rather than you controlling how, when, where, how much, and the outcomes.
It is inaccurate and ineffective to believe that if you can find out "why" you used in the first place and continued to use despite negative consequences, that you will be cured, fixed, or struck sober. However, once you are abstinent from the chemical, in order to stay sober, you must identify the roles that the chemicals have played in your life. It is too simplistic to say that these roles are "why" you drank/used. It is more complicated than that. However, to prevent relapse, you must find new things to do with your stress, anxiety, feelings, etc. than drink or use drugs.
Alcoholics/addicts use the chemical for numbing feelings, relaxing, giving them more self-confidence, to reduce inhibitions, to escape from problems temporarily, to not think about nagging thoughts, to reduce anxiety, and to feel a part of a group. There are many other roles or functions of the chemical.
Recovering people must identify for themselves the roles that the chemical played in their lives. Then identify the possible healthy replacements for those roles. To assist you in this process, use the following worksheet format:
Worksheet For Identifying Healthy Replacements for Alcohol/Drugs
By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.
Use separate paper and the following format to assist you in identifying the roles that the chemicals have played in your life and possible healthy alternatives to those chemicals. You may also use a Two Column Format, where the first column is entitled "Roles" and the second column is entitled "Healthy Alternatives". First identify a reason that you drank/used, or a role or function that the chemical played; then identify some things that you can do instead of drinking/using when the need for that role/purpose/function returns. An example of drinking for stress reduction being replaced by exercise, AA meetings, relaxation skills, etc. "stress"
Examples:
Role - Reduce Stress
Replacements - Physical Exercise, self-hypnosis, guided imagery, learning new problem solving skills, eliminating procrastination, practice better organization, practicing cognitive therapy
Role - Having fun/entertainment
Replacements - Develop social support system and friendship network of people who do not drink/use, develop hobbies, take salsa dance lessons, learn to play tennis, watch movies with friends,
Role - Deal with feelings
Replacements - Learn to identify, own, and express feelings appropriately, learn and practice assertiveness skills, write letters to people that you have feelings about (but don't mail them), use prayer, look for the part that you play in the resentment or the conflict, talk to sponsor or friend, remind yourself that feelings are normal, that everyone has them, and that you have a choice and a responsibility about what to do with them.
Role - Relax and go to sleep
Replacements - Use good sleep hygiene, get exercise earlier in the day, read Big Book in bed, use thought stopping techniques to cut out mind-racing, ruminating, or worry, make an ongoing gratitude list and rehearse it in your mind as you lie in bed, take warm bath/shower, listen to relaxation tapes.
The above are only a few examples of the roles that the chemicals may have played in your life. The examples of replacements are also just a sample. You might have the same replacements used for different role categories. For example, you might use exercise to deal with anxiety, stress, anger, boredom, fun, and sleep (among others). The point is to identify what you used the chemical for and to identify replacements that you will actually try and use. Make a list. Add to it as you think of new role categories and replacement options. Make sure that your replacement lists include social activities that bring you into frequent contact with other sober people. Post it by your door, in your vehicle, at your job-wherever you can see it when you most need to be reminded that there are alternatives in your life to the chemical.
The more techniques that you try, the more you use and practice them, the more likely you are to choose alternatives than the chemical, when you would have normally used the chemical in the past.
========================================================================
Author's Bio:
People trying to find their way into recovery need all the help they can get. The numerous articles on my website that are available to you, cover Individual and Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery, Marriage, Sexual Addiction, Mental Health, Couple Communication, and Skill Development, along with other informational resources such as a Recommended Readings page, a Links page, an Ask Peggy column, Surveys, and e-books. To check out my website, go to http://www.peggyferguson.com To purchase and download my ebooks on addiction and recovery, go to http://www.peggyferguson.com/ServicesProvided.en.html Ebooks include "Understanding Cross Addiction to Prevent Relapse", "The Recovering Person's Guide to Surviving and Thriving Through The Holidays Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Sobriety", and "Protecting Your Recovery in Post Surgery Pain Days."
The information in this article (and on my website) is for educational/information purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis or treatment.
Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, Marriage/Family Therapist, Alcohol/Drug Counselor, Writer, Trainer, Consultant, provides professional counseling services in and around Stillwater, Oklahoma.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
From Homeless and Hopeless To Happy - Addiction Recovery Story
Never did I think I would be homeless. I came from a good family and I had a good education. My parents were both school teachers. I was a sociable drinker for many years and used some drugs mostly on weekends. I never seemed to be satisfied with myself or jobs I had.
I had early consequences with my drug and alcohol use. 2 DUI's took away my driving. I started to feel sorry for myself. As things got worse, I only used more. I really hated myself. My parents didn't understand why I was doing this self destructive behavior. There were time where it was either get drunk or kill myself. Looking back on this, how crazy is that?! I now realize that all I needed to do was ask for help. For so long I never did that. I didn't think there was help for me.
The last 6 months before I got clean and sober I was homeless in Miami Florida. I'm not the homeless type. I thought I was tough but living in the streets is just dumb if there is another way. Today I am 5 months in recovery and work as an assistant auto mechanic in Miami. I thought I wanted to move but I realized it was me and not where I lived that was the problem. I have a sponsor and he has helped me get through some very rough days. I hope to have license back in a few months. Every day is a challenge but wanting to live each day is truly God's blessing to me. I hope this can help other alcoholics and addicts. There is Hope!
Albert G
Miami, Florida
I had early consequences with my drug and alcohol use. 2 DUI's took away my driving. I started to feel sorry for myself. As things got worse, I only used more. I really hated myself. My parents didn't understand why I was doing this self destructive behavior. There were time where it was either get drunk or kill myself. Looking back on this, how crazy is that?! I now realize that all I needed to do was ask for help. For so long I never did that. I didn't think there was help for me.
The last 6 months before I got clean and sober I was homeless in Miami Florida. I'm not the homeless type. I thought I was tough but living in the streets is just dumb if there is another way. Today I am 5 months in recovery and work as an assistant auto mechanic in Miami. I thought I wanted to move but I realized it was me and not where I lived that was the problem. I have a sponsor and he has helped me get through some very rough days. I hope to have license back in a few months. Every day is a challenge but wanting to live each day is truly God's blessing to me. I hope this can help other alcoholics and addicts. There is Hope!
Albert G
Miami, Florida
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Enjoying my new life without drugs and alcohol
I was born in a suburb of Atlanta Georgia. I was diagnosed with pretty severe ADD which made school hard. I drank and smoked weed in high school and it seemed to help me which sounds strange now. I went to several rehabs in my early 20's. I blamed it on my ADD and depression, instead of seeing that I was self medicating and going overboard.
I used Heroin for 3 weeks and overdosed twice. The Doctors told me I was a few minutes away from dying. I remember my mom's face when she visited me in the hospital. She really didn't understand any of this. My parents did not drink - except special occasions. This was a new low.
I got sober soon after I turned 30. I wanted to marry my girlfriend of 5 years but she was very worried about my drug and alcohol problem. I could get sober for a short while but I never had a real recovery program in my life. I don't why I was ready this time but I was out of options completely. I also was suffering from other health problems. I couldn't handle anything going the way I was.
Since coming into a sober residence, I've been able to put my recovery first. I know my family and girlfriend want the best for me. I miss them very much, but I am already starting to see my life get better. Even my ADD has gotten better. I am not on any medications because I have no insurance but I'm trying to get some. But aside from some sleep issues, I feel really good.
I am going to celebrate 30 days sober soon and I'm very grateful for it. I have a lot of help with my recovery support group in and out of my residence. I have a good job. It's not the job of my dreams but that's ok. It has given me responsibility and keeps me busy.
I'm trying to look to far ahead. I know I want what recovered people here have. I know they are a lot happier than I was when I got here. That is what I have kept my eye on. I have a sponsor and attend meetings every day. I smile more and I allow myself to have fun. I never thought I could have fun without drugs and alcohol. I'm now finding that I have more fun and for longer periods. That is one of the gifts of this program for me and recovery as a whole.
I pray every morning and every night. I know I'm led by my higher power. I'm still trying to understand it all, but my sponsor has told me I don't need to understand all of it. Just believing is good enough.
Joseph R
Macon, GA
I used Heroin for 3 weeks and overdosed twice. The Doctors told me I was a few minutes away from dying. I remember my mom's face when she visited me in the hospital. She really didn't understand any of this. My parents did not drink - except special occasions. This was a new low.
I got sober soon after I turned 30. I wanted to marry my girlfriend of 5 years but she was very worried about my drug and alcohol problem. I could get sober for a short while but I never had a real recovery program in my life. I don't why I was ready this time but I was out of options completely. I also was suffering from other health problems. I couldn't handle anything going the way I was.
Since coming into a sober residence, I've been able to put my recovery first. I know my family and girlfriend want the best for me. I miss them very much, but I am already starting to see my life get better. Even my ADD has gotten better. I am not on any medications because I have no insurance but I'm trying to get some. But aside from some sleep issues, I feel really good.
I am going to celebrate 30 days sober soon and I'm very grateful for it. I have a lot of help with my recovery support group in and out of my residence. I have a good job. It's not the job of my dreams but that's ok. It has given me responsibility and keeps me busy.
I'm trying to look to far ahead. I know I want what recovered people here have. I know they are a lot happier than I was when I got here. That is what I have kept my eye on. I have a sponsor and attend meetings every day. I smile more and I allow myself to have fun. I never thought I could have fun without drugs and alcohol. I'm now finding that I have more fun and for longer periods. That is one of the gifts of this program for me and recovery as a whole.
I pray every morning and every night. I know I'm led by my higher power. I'm still trying to understand it all, but my sponsor has told me I don't need to understand all of it. Just believing is good enough.
Joseph R
Macon, GA
Have you gotten Sober? Share your story with us!
We are looking for ongoing recovery stories from people who suffered though a drug and/or alcohol addiction problem. All stories submitted to us will be posted within 24 hours and you can use any name you wish or your initials. Simply email to the address below.
Sharing your story or experience can help you and certainly help people who may be suffering through this disease.
Long or Short
Your story or brief moments of experience, strength and hope can be as little as a paragraph or 2 up to 700 words. Whichever you like. We will spell check and create a title, so don't worry about being perfect.
Feel free to include the area you grow up in, your drugs of choice, what it was like and what it's like now.
Addiction recovery is largely about hope. Hope for you and hope for those who see and read another person's story.
If you have any questions, email us or send your Sober Recovery Experience to: aitbroker@gmail.com
God Bless!
Daytona Sober Life
Sharing your story or experience can help you and certainly help people who may be suffering through this disease.
Long or Short
Your story or brief moments of experience, strength and hope can be as little as a paragraph or 2 up to 700 words. Whichever you like. We will spell check and create a title, so don't worry about being perfect.
Feel free to include the area you grow up in, your drugs of choice, what it was like and what it's like now.
Addiction recovery is largely about hope. Hope for you and hope for those who see and read another person's story.
If you have any questions, email us or send your Sober Recovery Experience to: aitbroker@gmail.com
God Bless!
Daytona Sober Life
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