I was about 15 when I started drinking. I had older brothers, so beer was easy to get an early age. I smoked pot in high school and started getting poor grades. I managed to get good enough grades to get into a small college out of state in Ohio. I'm from Chicago. By the 2nd year, I was getting very homesick and depressed. A friend in college was into pain pills. I never tried them before but I liked them a lot. They did not make me drowsy or doped. I found myself more alert from it. The little money I had saved from home and working at a restaurant near my school was going more and more to these pills.
I tried to stick with just pot and drinking to save money but my friend would always have the pills I liked. Sometimes he would just toss me a few when I had no money. My addiction was full blown. Then one day, my friend got arrested. He was the only one helping me with my pills but also companionship.
I was more miserable than ever. I decided to just drop out and move back to Chicago.
My oldest brother took me in. He did not know how much I was drinking and doing drugs. I could not function without them. Before long, I was sneaking into his room and stealing money. For a while he didn't realize it. I was careful at first but eventually, I would take more things and not just from him. My habit was way to rich for my means. So stealing was my only option. He suspected what I was doing and then finally knew. He kicked me out but let me back in a week later.
I was arrested a few months later for DUI, lost several jobs and kicked out of my brothers house. I was in and out of trouble for the next 3 years. Family wanted nothing to do with me. I tried to get sober and clean a few times but something would always give me an excuse to use. Anytime anything negative happened in my
life, I ran to drugs and alcohol. It was a non stop cycle! I had no friends left. I stopped hanging out with anyone who couldn't help me get my drugs. If I couldn't get that, I would just drink for days. Finally my family told me my Uncle in Florida would offer to help. They just wanted to get rid of me I'm sure.
I then went to live with an Uncle in Florida under the condition that I get sober and clean. He had his friend who was a recovering alcoholic come over and offer to take me to meetings. I got a job with him too that paid very well doing air conditioning servicing. I was more focused on work than the meetings which I still didn't like all that much. I now know there is more to recovery than what I was doing. I started using again. Not a lot at first but my Uncle found me passed out drunk and high a few times. One time on the side of his house. I was so embarrassed and he was furious. I'm not even his son and I was causing him this much pain. He gave me one day to get out. I went to a detox and came to a halfway house in Daytona Beach to try and re-start me life. My depression is still an issue but already in just a month, I have found a job, attend church and follow a recovery program that works. I write out gratitude lists and have great friends here who support me and I support them. I don't have to be alone and I don't have to be miserable.
Spirituality is a big part of my life. I don't feel dead anymore and I look forward to each day. My family is also back in my life and some of my family is planning on visiting me next month. One day at a time.
Mike
Daytona Beach, Florida
Break Free
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Addiction and Recovery - Don't Let Myths Keep You From Getting Sober
I keep hearing the same old myths over and over again. And I can't help but think that others hearing these myths either believe them and give up or use them for excuses to avoid taking action on getting clean and sober. One of the myths that I hear daily is that you can't get sober for someone else, that you have to want it for yourself, or your recovery efforts won't work. This statement is both true and false.
The idea that you can't get sober for someone else is completely wrong. People do it every day. Many people find their way into treatment centers, counselors' offices, and AA/NA rooms at the urging of someone else. Alcoholics and addicts are commonly coerced into abstinence and early recovery. Wives and husbands lay down bottom lines that they will leave the alcoholic and get a divorce if they don't quit drinking. Spouses are not the only ones doing the coercing. Employers, parents, judges/court system, and children have all influenced alcoholics/addicts into treatment and abstinence.
Initially, these stark raving sober people get that way doing it for someone else. They essentially do whatever is necessary at that moment to keep from losing whatever it is that they fear losing. Their early recovery efforts are "externally motivated".
A number of the events and characteristics of early abstinence can create the desire for sobriety. With abstinence from alcohol and other drugs, brains and bodies begin to detox. Taking it one day at a time, to do what is necessary to not drink/use that day, the sober alcoholic/addict's thinking begins to clear up. They begin to feel better. As they deal with situations that they used to use drugs over, a self-efficacy about being able to get and stay sober begins to develop. The negative impacts of the disease and the positive benefits of sobriety become obvious. It is now conceivable to the addict, that one's life course can be changed and that they can recover and be happy. Now they can start to see the benefits of sobriety.
They begin to actually begin to believe that it is possible to have a life without alcohol/drugs, something not conceivable before. If you can separate from the drug long enough, you can begin to believe that you can get sober. Addicts begin to experience some of the benefits of abstinence early on. Hope happens.
As addicts in early recovery continue in meetings and begin to identify the negative impact of the using on various aspects of their lives, denial and other defense mechanisms are neutralized. More reality is getting through. Motivation becomes intrinsic. They will eventually be motivated to stay sober because they want their own positive outcomes.
So it is more accurate to say that people often get sober for someone else, but learn to stay sober for themselves. Desire for recovery is a necessary but insufficient factor in maintaining recovery.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, get the information and help that you need to establish abstinence and gain recovery. My website is a resource for you, with a number of articles on Addiction and Mental Health, Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery, Marriage, and other topics. Additional resources available at http://www.peggyferguson.com include a "Links" page, an "Ask Peggy" Column, ebooks for purchase such as "Understanding Cross Addiction to Prevent Relapse", "Preventing Addiction Relapse:Protecting Your Recovery in Post Surgery Pain Days", "The Recovering Person's Guide to Surviving and Thriving Through the Holidays Without Losing Your Sanity or Sobriety", and "The Honey Jar, A Couples' Communication Conversation Starter.
To fill out a survey that will let me know what kinds and types of information you would like to have, go to http://www.peggyferguson.com/ServicesProvided.en.html Ebooks and other educational/informational products are downloadable on that page.
Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, is a therapist in private practice providing professional counseling services and consultation in and around Stillwater, Oklahoma.
The idea that you can't get sober for someone else is completely wrong. People do it every day. Many people find their way into treatment centers, counselors' offices, and AA/NA rooms at the urging of someone else. Alcoholics and addicts are commonly coerced into abstinence and early recovery. Wives and husbands lay down bottom lines that they will leave the alcoholic and get a divorce if they don't quit drinking. Spouses are not the only ones doing the coercing. Employers, parents, judges/court system, and children have all influenced alcoholics/addicts into treatment and abstinence.
Initially, these stark raving sober people get that way doing it for someone else. They essentially do whatever is necessary at that moment to keep from losing whatever it is that they fear losing. Their early recovery efforts are "externally motivated".
A number of the events and characteristics of early abstinence can create the desire for sobriety. With abstinence from alcohol and other drugs, brains and bodies begin to detox. Taking it one day at a time, to do what is necessary to not drink/use that day, the sober alcoholic/addict's thinking begins to clear up. They begin to feel better. As they deal with situations that they used to use drugs over, a self-efficacy about being able to get and stay sober begins to develop. The negative impacts of the disease and the positive benefits of sobriety become obvious. It is now conceivable to the addict, that one's life course can be changed and that they can recover and be happy. Now they can start to see the benefits of sobriety.
They begin to actually begin to believe that it is possible to have a life without alcohol/drugs, something not conceivable before. If you can separate from the drug long enough, you can begin to believe that you can get sober. Addicts begin to experience some of the benefits of abstinence early on. Hope happens.
As addicts in early recovery continue in meetings and begin to identify the negative impact of the using on various aspects of their lives, denial and other defense mechanisms are neutralized. More reality is getting through. Motivation becomes intrinsic. They will eventually be motivated to stay sober because they want their own positive outcomes.
So it is more accurate to say that people often get sober for someone else, but learn to stay sober for themselves. Desire for recovery is a necessary but insufficient factor in maintaining recovery.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, get the information and help that you need to establish abstinence and gain recovery. My website is a resource for you, with a number of articles on Addiction and Mental Health, Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery, Marriage, and other topics. Additional resources available at http://www.peggyferguson.com include a "Links" page, an "Ask Peggy" Column, ebooks for purchase such as "Understanding Cross Addiction to Prevent Relapse", "Preventing Addiction Relapse:Protecting Your Recovery in Post Surgery Pain Days", "The Recovering Person's Guide to Surviving and Thriving Through the Holidays Without Losing Your Sanity or Sobriety", and "The Honey Jar, A Couples' Communication Conversation Starter.
To fill out a survey that will let me know what kinds and types of information you would like to have, go to http://www.peggyferguson.com/ServicesProvided.en.html Ebooks and other educational/informational products are downloadable on that page.
Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, is a therapist in private practice providing professional counseling services and consultation in and around Stillwater, Oklahoma.
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Alcohol and Drug Dependent To A New Life In Sobriety
Hi my name is David. For most of my life I’ve always felt like something wasn’t right with me. This lasted until my first drink when I was around 15 years old. That ended up being the first of many drunk nights. Once I drank I felt like I was normal and eventually It turned into I only felt normal when I was drinking. This led to many problems in my life and out of fear I stopped drinking and started to substitute the alcohol for drugs. Once this happened my life spiraled out of control.
It led me everywhere I always thought I didn’t want to go. I became homeless multiple times. I had to be admitted into the hospital on multiple occasions. Usually I would put my life back together for a couple of months and then I would just throw it all away again and start the cycle all over again. One day I realized this is the way I was always going to be. I decided I wasn’t going to fight it anymore.
This led me to a binge which god willing I will never have to go thru again. I ended up in a recovery residence for men in Daytona Beach, FL. They explained to me that I didn’t know how to live but if I was willing they would show me a new way of living that would be better than anything I had known before. They were right and I got to see a whole new way of life. One where I can be happy and not have to use drugs and alcohol just to feel normal. Today I get to have a life I never thought was possible.
D.J.
Daytona Beach, Florida
Living Sober
The whole key to living sober is to find a way to push yourself to keep growing in your recovery. This really is the secret to long term success in recovery because the number one enemy is complacency. After we have been sober for a while, avoiding the drink on a daily basis becomes automatic. This is what becomes dangerous because then we end up getting comfortable with our sobriety. We have to find a way to stay on our toes.
One way to do this is to focus on holistic growth. This means that we try to find new areas of our life in which we can grow. For example, you might push yourself to start exercising again, or to go back to college and finish a degree. Or you might try to quit smoking or lose weight. These are all examples of different ways that we can grow in our recovery. Are they critical for staying sober? No, none of them will have a direct impact on your sobriety. However, in the long run, they will all help you in terms of overcoming complacency, because you will constantly be challenging yourself to improve as a person. If you do not find a way to tap into this continuous growth then you run the risk of relapse.
Another way to tap into the secret of long term sobriety is to start working with other recovering alcoholics. This is one of the most powerful things you can do in your recovery because it is like having an automatic level of insurance against relapse. It is very difficult for someone to relapse if they are working with other alcoholics every day. The reason for this is that we help strengthen our own recovery by an immeasurable amount when we help others in recovery. Thus, this is one of the big secrets of living sober. Help others with sobriety and you will help yourself.
If you want to stay sober in the long run then you have to stay humble and remain teachable. There is always new stuff to learn in recovery about how to live a successful life in sobriety and if you are not open to learning new things then you will miss out on the type of information that could prevent you from relapsing some day. This is part of the natural ebb and flow process of living sober. You meet new challenges in sobriety but you also learn new things in order to help you overcome those challenges.
So what is the best route to find success in long term sobriety?
Here are some suggestions for you to follow:
1) Help other alcoholics on a regular basis. Find a way to reach out that fits your life and your personality.
2) Push yourself to keep growing in recovery. What goals are you working on lately? If you don't have any then you should get some.
3) Remain teachable in recovery. Don't cut yourself off from gaining new knowledge about how to live sober. We are always learning more.
4) Find new paths to explore. Don't limit yourself to growth in one area (such as spiritual growth). Instead, seek to grow in many areas of your life. This will ensure that you do not stagnate in your recovery.
Follow these guidelines and you should stay active in your new life. Really this is the tip of the iceberg and there are many other facets to living sober in recovery.
Patrick Meninga
www.spiritualriver.com
One way to do this is to focus on holistic growth. This means that we try to find new areas of our life in which we can grow. For example, you might push yourself to start exercising again, or to go back to college and finish a degree. Or you might try to quit smoking or lose weight. These are all examples of different ways that we can grow in our recovery. Are they critical for staying sober? No, none of them will have a direct impact on your sobriety. However, in the long run, they will all help you in terms of overcoming complacency, because you will constantly be challenging yourself to improve as a person. If you do not find a way to tap into this continuous growth then you run the risk of relapse.
Another way to tap into the secret of long term sobriety is to start working with other recovering alcoholics. This is one of the most powerful things you can do in your recovery because it is like having an automatic level of insurance against relapse. It is very difficult for someone to relapse if they are working with other alcoholics every day. The reason for this is that we help strengthen our own recovery by an immeasurable amount when we help others in recovery. Thus, this is one of the big secrets of living sober. Help others with sobriety and you will help yourself.
If you want to stay sober in the long run then you have to stay humble and remain teachable. There is always new stuff to learn in recovery about how to live a successful life in sobriety and if you are not open to learning new things then you will miss out on the type of information that could prevent you from relapsing some day. This is part of the natural ebb and flow process of living sober. You meet new challenges in sobriety but you also learn new things in order to help you overcome those challenges.
So what is the best route to find success in long term sobriety?
Here are some suggestions for you to follow:
1) Help other alcoholics on a regular basis. Find a way to reach out that fits your life and your personality.
2) Push yourself to keep growing in recovery. What goals are you working on lately? If you don't have any then you should get some.
3) Remain teachable in recovery. Don't cut yourself off from gaining new knowledge about how to live sober. We are always learning more.
4) Find new paths to explore. Don't limit yourself to growth in one area (such as spiritual growth). Instead, seek to grow in many areas of your life. This will ensure that you do not stagnate in your recovery.
Follow these guidelines and you should stay active in your new life. Really this is the tip of the iceberg and there are many other facets to living sober in recovery.
Patrick Meninga
www.spiritualriver.com
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Getting Recovery later in life - Sober in Daytona
I lived a fairly normal early life. Though in retrospect, I had early alcoholic behaviors. I was a popular kid - being good at sports and well liked by girls - but I always enjoyed being alone. I also was a people pleaser and often thought I wasn't good enough, even though to the outside world, I seemed to have it "all together"
I enjoyed alcohol socially and rarely went overboard but even then, I had a capacity to out-drink my friends and had some occasional blackouts. As I progressed through my 20's and 30's, my main motivation was "self". I wanted to accomplish great things, have the perfect family - no flaws.
I began using alcohol (usually wine) and later - prescription pills daily to cope with stress. Most of this dependence happened after I turned 40 - with kids, a house and a business. I felt alone and overwhelmed all the time and my quiet time self medicating was turning out to be my favorite time of the day. I began to neglect my family, our finances and I began to avoid most social situations. The disasters began. First it was possessions (car, money, cashing out of retirement money). I was so dumbed down in my brain from the drugs and alcohol that I lost my ability to process anything.
I suffered more consequences over and over again. Being forced out of my house - with my personal police escort a few times, attempts at living in a few sober houses, DWI, periods of homelessness, hospitals, rehabs and horrible shame and guilt that just got worse and worse. I needed Help.
I had been in and out of recovery several times but I never made it the first priority. I considered recovery and being sober as a punishment. I had no interest in following the program as it's laid out. I always blamed my circumstances. None if it seemed solvable. So why stay sober and miserable? I was a sick guy needing a lot of help.
I knew I had to take advantage of my last chance. I took a bizarre route and found "Solutions By the Sea" in Daytona Beach Florida. I am from the Northeast. I am convinced a higher power got me there. It has allowed me to put my recovery first and work a full program of recovery to re-build my life. I still struggle but with my sober support around me - One Day At A Time, I'm able to put my sobriety first, build my spiritual side and work/help others. I am very blessed and grateful today. If I don't look ahead or dwell on the past - but stay in the moment, I can continue my recovery and feel optimistic about my life.
Andrew H
Daytona Beach, FL
I enjoyed alcohol socially and rarely went overboard but even then, I had a capacity to out-drink my friends and had some occasional blackouts. As I progressed through my 20's and 30's, my main motivation was "self". I wanted to accomplish great things, have the perfect family - no flaws.
I began using alcohol (usually wine) and later - prescription pills daily to cope with stress. Most of this dependence happened after I turned 40 - with kids, a house and a business. I felt alone and overwhelmed all the time and my quiet time self medicating was turning out to be my favorite time of the day. I began to neglect my family, our finances and I began to avoid most social situations. The disasters began. First it was possessions (car, money, cashing out of retirement money). I was so dumbed down in my brain from the drugs and alcohol that I lost my ability to process anything.
I suffered more consequences over and over again. Being forced out of my house - with my personal police escort a few times, attempts at living in a few sober houses, DWI, periods of homelessness, hospitals, rehabs and horrible shame and guilt that just got worse and worse. I needed Help.
I had been in and out of recovery several times but I never made it the first priority. I considered recovery and being sober as a punishment. I had no interest in following the program as it's laid out. I always blamed my circumstances. None if it seemed solvable. So why stay sober and miserable? I was a sick guy needing a lot of help.
I knew I had to take advantage of my last chance. I took a bizarre route and found "Solutions By the Sea" in Daytona Beach Florida. I am from the Northeast. I am convinced a higher power got me there. It has allowed me to put my recovery first and work a full program of recovery to re-build my life. I still struggle but with my sober support around me - One Day At A Time, I'm able to put my sobriety first, build my spiritual side and work/help others. I am very blessed and grateful today. If I don't look ahead or dwell on the past - but stay in the moment, I can continue my recovery and feel optimistic about my life.
Andrew H
Daytona Beach, FL
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Daytona Beach Florida Addiction Treatment and Sober Housing
For those struggling with addiction and feel they have no where to turn, we understand and we can help. Our Daytona Beach foundation is here to offer help to those needing alcohol and drug treatment programs, followed by a structured and safe sober residence. We can help people nationwide.
We are constantly offering and developing new programs to make your recovery experience as successful as possible.
Finding the right treatment program can be challenging. Many in need can't find the right program or they cannot afford one. Our foundation offers scholarship options to those who qualify. We can be your resource to finding the right addiction treatment and provide choices within our Daytona area Sober House network for your transition into a Sober Way Of Life.
Some of The Sober and Recovery Services We Provide Include:
Some of The Sober and Recovery Services We Provide Include:
- Food
- Clothing
- Housing and Furniture
- Sponsorship
- AA Meetings with Speakers
We are constantly offering and developing new programs to make your recovery experience as successful as possible.
Our Daytona Beach Florida Program is available for anyone seeking help from addiction issues - whether it is alcohol or other drugs. We partner with many local and national businesses.
Feel free to post any question, need or comment here or you may reach us by phone or email.
Feel free to post any question, need or comment here or you may reach us by phone or email.
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